Dreaming
by earthday
Summary: Ennis changes his mind about Jack's offer after a dream he has of them.


**Just wanted to say - I own none of these characters - they are the creation of the wonderful Annie Proulx and I'm not earning any profit from doing this, just for fun ^^**

**Hope you like :)**

It could be just like this, always like this, Jack had said that evening as they sat around the campfire.

But Ennis hadn't believed him.

Two guys living together would never happen – especially not with him. Not after Earl and Rich.

But that night, he dreamt.

_Ennis sat on the end of the bed, listening to the familiar sound of the pickup truck crunching down the gravel drive after a long day out in the mountains. That'd be Jack, back home at last after working with the sheep and the horses up in the fields. He always arrived around about then, just after the sun set. It was the only point Aguirre would let him off._

_Ennis sometimes wished that he and Jack could have more time on their own. Up on Brokeback, they were constantly watched by others, thanks to Aguirre's new curiosity and binoculars. They would rarely get a moment to themselves when they could relax and hold each other for a minute or two._

_Yet, in a way, this lack of unity in the daytime made Ennis love Jack even more. It let him savour the time they did have together further and not take anything for granted. The relationship he had with Jack was far more tender and successful than the one he used to have with Alma. Divorcing her had been a tremendous step in his life._

_Suddenly, from downstairs, the front door closed and there were footsteps on the stairs, then on the landing. Ennis sighed softly and looked up as the bedroom door opened and standing there in all his dreamy cowboy glory was Jack._

_His hair was tousled and slightly wavy from the cool mountainside winds and betrayed hints of a tiring day yet his eyes (oh those beautiful, beautiful eyes) were still as sparkling and as lively as they had been in the morning. Admiring him further, Ennis noticed a gentle, warm smile on his lips and a refreshing glow on his cheeks, followed by the top few buttons on his shirt being undone and a tantalising glimpse of tanned skin being shown. He looked even more handsome than usual and as he moved nearer, closing the door behind him, Ennis's heart fluttered._

'' _Evening, Ennis...'' he greeted in his same old gentle way, his voice comforting and homely. '' How're you feelin' now...?''_

_Ennis hummed and shuffled a little on the bed as he watched Jack take off his jacket and hat and reach for the buttons on his shirt. He hadn't gone up to Brokeback today, having felt particularly ill in the morning, and had instead spent the day in his and Jack's room, recovering. He hoped Aguirre hadn't been too hard on his companion for his absence. '' Oh, much better now, thanks...''_

'' _Mornin' sickness....'' Jack giggled, undoing the last button on his shirt and slipping it off into a nearby chair. Ennis admired him for a moment or two, knowing every inch of his body by heart but still being no less turned on by the way he looked. Sometimes he couldn't believe he was his. All his. No Lureen anymore...Just him and Jack. Like he now knew things were meant to be right from the start._

'' _You were my lil' housewife today, weren't you...?'' Jack said after a while, enjoying how Ennis was watching him with that bright look in his eyes. His fellow cowboy smiled and sighed._

'' _Well, ah would have been if ah was well enough ta clean...'' he teased, biting his lip playfully as Jack ran a hand through his dark hair and glanced at himself in the mirror. '' So...how was Aguirre about me not bein' there today?''_

_Jack groaned and turned away from his reflection, coming to sit next to Ennis on the end of the bed. '' Oh, he gave me hell about it...'' he breathed dismally. '' Y'know, he's not gonna be happy when we go up t'morrow an' he sees ya...''_

'' _Yeah...ah know...But ah couldn't help feelin' rough. You're not annoyed at me are ya, Jack?''_

'' _No, of course not. Why would ah be?''_

'' _Oh, I dunno...For gettin' ya inta trouble with Aguirre...An' leavin' ya ta do all the work bah yerself...''_

'' _Oh, tha's no problem, Ennis...'' Jack said, taking his hands. '' Ya couldn't help bein' ill, pal. An' anyway, ah been in worse trouble with Aguirre than this...'' Yet then he paused, running his fingers over the delicate lines on Ennis's palm. '' But still...there was one thin'...''_

'' _What was that?''_

'' _My God, Ennis ah missed you...''_

_Ennis smiled tenderly and nuzzled Jack's cheek, gently holding his wrists. '' Oh Jack...'' he muttered, beginning to kiss his earlobe. '' Ah shoulda been the one doin' the missin'...Left here in bed with nothin' ta do but dream of you an' wish you was here...''_

'' _Oh you poor thing...'' Jack muttered, running a hand through the ranch-hand's lazy curls. '' Maybe ah should try an' be ill with ya one day...Then we could spend the whole time t'gether with nobody else...''_

_Ennis smiled and put his arms around the back of Jack's neck, pulling him so close their lips brushed. '' Mmm...'' he hummed, shivering at the cowboy's mountainside scent. '' Ah think Aguirre would kill us if we did that.''_

_Jack sighed, his eyes closing. '' Ah'd rather spend a day with you an' be killed than live mah whole life without you...'' he muttered romantically and Ennis moaned. _

'' _Oh Jack...'' he breathed quietly, embracing him closer. '' Oh, ah do love it when you say things like that...''_

'' _Mmm...I love you, Ennis...''_

'' _Oh Jack...''_

'' _Oh Ennis...''_

_And they kissed, softly at first but then they realised how long they'd been away from each other and Jack fell on top of Ennis, opening his mouth wide for him to accept his tongue. They didn't have to worry about anybody finding out anymore. It wasn't like they were still forced to do what they wanted to do sneakily holed up in an unstable old tent where they were more at risk of being spotted. No, now they lived together in a sturdy house and could get intimate and close in private, behind closed doors._

_Rougher now, Ennis allowed Jack's tongue to dart into his mouth and then he gave chase, rubbing his hands through his chocolate brown hair. What they had going on was extremely special. Ennis loved Jack and Jack loved Ennis and even though they understood it wasn't possible, they knew that if they had had the chance, they would have happily swapped Lureen and Alma at the altar for each other._

_And while Jack had been working that day, Ennis had been fantasising about such a time. He imagined them standing side by side at the front of the ceremony, dressed in their cowboy clothes (neither of them had ever been the 'suit kind') and tenderly holding hands. They'd said their vows and then kiss lovingly before the crowd, no longer afraid of what would happen. Next would be the photos in the bright open air where Jack would playfully cuddle and hold him and tease around, not just for the camera. But the best part would come after the party, when everyone except them had had a bit too much to drink and had stumbled their way back home. They'd walk adoringly up to their house, arm in arm, and go up to their room, spending the rest of the night in each other's arms and not being aware of anything but themselves._

_Still lost in this fantasy, Ennis turned his head out of the kiss and pressed his mouth against Jack's jaw, letting his teeth graze his skin. He knew he liked it when he did that. And it was proved when an appreciative sigh escaped his lips, followed by a sensual moan of his name. Ennis loved hearing Jack like this._

_So, gently, he led his kisses up the rodeo cowboy's chin and to his ear where he nibbled affectionately into the lobe and nuzzled his dark hair. Oh, how he admired Jack's hair. It was thick and lovingly tousled by the mountain breezes but also soft and sweet-smelling, rather like the outdoors they worked in. When they used to stay up there in the summers, Ennis had loved to come up behind him on a lonely day in the camp and breathe in his scent, rubbing his face against his neck and curls. Then they'd stay like that for a while, in each other's arms and listening to the animals and winds in the distance. _

_As he thought about it, Ennis rolled absent-mindedly on top of Jack and pinned his hands down. They kissed passionately and Jack got onto Ennis, then Ennis on Jack again and soon, they were wrestling and play-fighting over the bed, laughing and giggling. _

_And then suddenly the scene changed and Jack was lying alone by a roadside, gasping and writhing as blood trickled constantly over his face, staining his skin and his hair and his clothes and leaking onto the once perfect grass around him. _

'' _Ennis, Ennis...'' he whispered in his last breath. '' Ennis, we could – have had – a life...Ennis...'' He choked, red tears streaming down his cheeks while he clutched on to the last trails of the world, needing to say something more. Had to get it out before the time was up. '' Ennis, oh Ennis....I-I still love you....''_

And suddenly, Ennis woke up, sitting bolt upright and covered in a cold sweat. Where was he? What was happening? Where was Jack? Was he okay? It was just a dream, just a dream, he told himself, but it felt so real. Jack's tortured, dying whispers were still echoing through his mind and he couldn't let them go. _I still love you, I still love you...._

'' Jack?'' he moaned quietly into the darkness, tears seeping down his cold, damp skin. '' Jack, Jack, where are you?''

He was crying now, no longer ashamed of it. Sickness was winding his stomach into thousands of knots as he tried to keep the dizziness from completely claiming him and he could barely sit up straight, seeing the world dip and climb before him. '' Jack, Jack, Jack...'' he kept muttering desperately, holding the clammy sheets so tight his knuckles were turning white. '' Jack, Jack, please...''

But then suddenly, there was movement beside him and someone turned onto their side. Ennis saw familiar blue eyes staring up at him. '' Ennis? Ennis, what're you doin' awake?''

Ennis groaned and fell back down onto the bedroll, immediately wrapping his arms tensely around Jack's warm body. '' Oh Jack, Jack, Jack, ah was so scared...''

Jack seemed surprised but he slowly hugged him back, patting his wet hair. '' Hey, Ennis, what's the matter, friend? God, you're shakin' like ya jus' seen a ghost.''

'' Jack, oh Jack, ah'm sorry, ah'm so sorry...''

'' Sorry fer what, Ennis? Oh Ennis, don't cry...''

But Ennis couldn't help it, trembling as the sobs tore through him. He was dampening Jack's shirt with his tears and ruining a tender moment with his wailing yet Jack still encircled his arms closer around him, tenderly stroking his curls. '' Ennis, Ennis, it's okay, it's okay...Ssh, ssh...''

'' Jack, so sorry, so sorry...''

'' Oh Ennis, there's no need ta apologise. Ya've done nothin' wrong, pal...''

'' Oh ah have...Jack, ah – ah jus' had a dream of us t'gether an' we shared a house an' it was jus' me an' you – no one else...But then, then...It changed an' – an'...'' Ennis trailed off, his voice momentarily overcome with his painful crying. Jack squeezed him softly.

'' What happened then, Ennis?'' he asked gently, nuzzling his ear.

'' Oh, Jack, ah – ah...ah dunno...Ah saw you by a roadside somewhere an' you were...you were...Oh Jack, you were dying...'' Ennis choked again, fresh tears pouring down his cold cheeks.

'' Oh Ennis...'' Jack muttered, holding him tighter. '' Oh Ennis, it was jus' a dream...Don't worry...''

Ennis sobbed, trying to nod but getting images of Jack in his last moments flashing like warning signals into his mind. He never wanted to leave him, never, never, never...He repeated that in his head over and over again, mentally to start with yet then he found himself whispering aloud, crying and trembling in Jack's arms. '' Oh Jack, oh Jack...'' he said. '' Don't leave me, please don't ever, ever leave me...''

'' Ah'm not goin' anywhere, Ennis...''

Ennis buried his face into Jack's neck, trying to swallow his tears. '' And Jack, ah'm so sorry about earlier...You were right...Ah've changed mah mind...''

'' About what...?''

'' Jack, ah – ah – ah wanna come an' live with you...Ah don't care what anyone else says, Jack...Ah don't wanna stay goodbye...''

Jack smiled and rested his head on Ennis's, closing his eyes in bliss. He stroked a hand through his hair again and whispered his name. '' Oh Ennis...Oh Ennis, thank you...''

And then Ennis said something he never ever thought he'd say to Jack away from his dreams. Something that didn't come naturally to him at all... '' Oh Jack...'' he muttered. '' Oh Jack, ah love you...''

Jack kissed Ennis's curls. '' Ennis...'' he sighed. '' Ah've always loved you...''

THE END


End file.
